Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
