If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
