How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
