I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
