Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
