I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
