I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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