It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
