belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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