***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
