Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
