I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
