are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
