hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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