Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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