Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
