Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
