I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
