shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize