Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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