Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
