You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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