be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize