some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
