He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
