he told me I talked like a deaf person
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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