Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
