I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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