Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
