you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
