i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You ate ashes out of my bong
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
