Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
