Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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