Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
