You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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