wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
