She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
