I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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