i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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