There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Randomize
