I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I wear drunk well.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
