You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
