Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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