and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
