you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
