Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
