I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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