he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
