your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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