i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
