you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
