I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
