OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
