The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize