you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
