I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
