I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
