just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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