I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
