It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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