carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
