Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
