There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
