butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
